ambivalent comment

I think you should be very proud of the fact that you “exist in an extreme degree.” I don't know why, but it makes me think of Thoreau: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Unlike “most men,” you're trying to get all you can out of life -- you're singing your song, dammit! There are many guys out there who will love you for precisely that, I'm certain of it!