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December 08, 2003

Torts Nightmare

I'm not very well prepared for finals, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised I'm starting to have nightmares about them. Last night it was torts. First, at a Q & A between my entire 1L section and the dean and our other professors, I raised my hand and asked, "Are we supposed to be getting a general introduction to torts in our first semester, because all we got was negligence and strict liability. Isn't there more?" ProfTorts (in my dream) responded, "I'm glad you asked that; we're going to cover everything else today."

Then I got lost on the way to class.

When I finally got to class, ProfTorts had a surprise for us. Without saying a word, he simply started handing out exams! Everyone around me started working industriously on theirs, but I could only stare at mine in disbelief. This was supposed to be the review session! ProfTorts looked at me and smiled. "I thought we'd just get it over with," he said.

Finally, I imagined I typed my exam on a PDA-type device (like a Palm), and that there was no way for me to print it out or transmit a copy to my professor. Total nightmare.

I think I better study harder. Torts final is tomorrow. I'm wondering about suing myself for negligence in exam-taking. My theory of negligence is that I should have studied at least two more hours every day since November 25th (just before Thanksgiving). If I run the BPL, it seems that the cost of such a precaution would have been fairly low—I probably would have simply needed to cut my web-surfing time and studied instead. Meanwhile, the likelihood that I'll do poorly on exams because I didn't study those extra two hours seems rather high, and the seriousness of the injury I'll incur by doing poorly also seems pretty high (though certainly debatable). I suppose those two variables would be left to the jury; what would a "reasonable person" say?

Is there such a thing as a reasonable person when it comes to deciding how much studying for law school finals is sufficient? You certainly couldn't use a "reasonable law student" because, on this question at least, that would be a contradiction in terms. Some law students would certainly be panicked if they'd studied the same amount as I have, but then, perhaps those people aren't khaki. It's so true: No one sees my grand master plan!! But will that be a sufficient defense if I'm found negligent?

My defense against my theory of negligence might be that law school grades are infamously arbitrary; more studying does not necessarily mean better grades. Therefore, it's a mistake to assume that my negligence caused my bad grades. Other possible explanations include the capriciousness of the grader, what I had for lunch before the exam (what should I have? I wonder...), and the fact that I had to use a Windoze computer to take the exam. It's been statistically proven that people who use Windoze are less likely to be smart. (Ok, I made that up. Is it ok to make stuff up on exams?)

Here's another question: Would failing your law school exams allow you to use a res ipsa loquitur argument to get to a jury in your negligence action against yourself? But for the fact that you can't sue yourself, I think so. I mean, it's pretty much a given that if you study, you'll pass, so failing would likely give rise to an assumption that someone has been negligent, don't you think?

Posted December 8, 2003 06:02 AM | law school


I think you're being a wee bit hard on yourself. Think of it this way: You've still got another day and in that time you can cram a lot into your head. I'm sure it's already there anyway, it just needs a little bit of rattling. :-)

Good Luck tomorrow! We're all rooting for you!!

Posted by: DG at December 8, 2003 09:29 AM

Yes, indeed, good luck. I've been considering if I could get around the consent defense and somehow sue my school for intentional infliction of emotional distress. I'm glad someone else thinks that of the torts exam. :)

Posted by: A. Rickey at December 8, 2003 09:38 AM

Good luck, and get used to it. These anxiety dreams will now be common fare. You'll even have them after the exam (you'll dream that your exam got lost). After the bar exam, I dreamt that they lost all our exams and made us come in and retake them. Worst. Dream. Ever.


Posted by: Reen at December 8, 2003 03:19 PM

Just the amount of torts info that you threw into this post proves you know lots of stuff. Good luck!

Posted by: Beanie at December 8, 2003 09:05 PM

Thanks for the good wishes. I'm shooting for somewhere near the handle of the bell on that magical curve (assuming the handle's at the top of the bell, you know, like sticking out of the top?). No, I don't know what I'm talking about either...

Posted by: ambimb at December 9, 2003 09:46 AM

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