1) Do not procrastinate: In the process of moving from one apartment to another, the defendant or a friend who was helping placed three dresser drawers in the back (hatchback) of his car. Three-four weeks later, the defendant was pulled over for driving with a cracked windshield. He readily consented to a police search of his car, and police quickly found two crack pipes and a couple of syringes among the random items in one of the drawers. The defendant was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia. He claimed the drawers were "junk" drawers filled with items he never used, which is why he left them in his car so long—it was all stuff he didn't really need. He also claimed he had no clue where the pipes came from, but suspected a former girlfriend had hidden them there and forgotten about them. Perhaps the defendant was lying, but he's also been working at a good job for 40-50 hours/week for the last five years and has otherwise stayed out of trouble, so he doesn't seem like a big crackhead. Bottom line: If the defendant had simply cleaned out his car when he moved, he never would have been charged with anything more than driving with a cracked windshield. Next time you're moving, finish the job or you may end up in court!

2) Do not bring crack or crack-smoking paraphernalia with you to court: I mentioned this one the other day, but it's a valuable lesson worth repeating. The defendant was appearing in court for trial on a traffic violation. She was sentenced to 10 days in jail when and deputies took her into custody and inventoried her possessions they found crack and drug paraphernalia. Now she faces possession charges. And this sounds insane, but it's not the first time it's happened in this court. People, come one! When you go to court, leave your crack at home!

3) Don't be completely insane in court: If a defendant wants to speak in court, a defense attorney has to let him or her do so. Here, a defendant spontaneously asked a police witness, "Does your self remember when my self told you that I'm the light of the world and I control the planets telepathically?" Needless to say, this wasn't really a positive move for the defense.

4) When your objection is overruled, you've challenged that ruling, and the judge has stood firm, don't raise the same objection again five seconds later—even when you're right. This happened to a prosecutor and the judge exploded from the bench. Swinging around in his chair to glare bullets at the prosecutor, his face red as a beet, the judge shouted, "I guess what you'd like is that everything against the defendant comes in, but nothing in his favor should ever enter this room. Is that right? The prosecutor was basically speechless, and the rest of the court was frozen in shock. After a moment, the prosecutor tried to begin an explanation, but the judge cut her off. "Your objection has been overruled. Do you have any power to overrule that ?" The prosecutor sat down, and the judge swung back to listen to the defense attorney, who did a great job continuing as if nothing had happened. Perhaps you had to be there, but trust me, it was an electric moment. A judge shouting down a prosecutor in a courtroom on behalf of the defendant!? Of course, the judge ruled for the prosecution, but still, it was a priceless thing to see.

5) If you steal someone's purse and cell phone, don't immediately use the phone to call 911 to brag about it to the police. This isn't from court, exactly, just a story my attorney told me. A defendant actually did this. The 911 call is hilarious.