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I'll Sue!
To the jogger who punched me yesterday afternoon:
Hi. How are you? I'm the guy you punched yesterday. Remember? It was around 6:30 p.m. You were jogging toward me, I was biking toward you. We were on opposite sides of a multi-use paved path that was 8-10 feet wide with a dotted yellow line down the middle. There was a jogger ahead of me, also moving toward you. She was on the far right side of the path, you were on the far left, leaving a lane in the middle at least 4 feet wide for me to pass through as you jogged by. But you apparently decided that wasn't satisfactory. As we approached each other, I saw you begin moving toward the center of the path, instead of staying on the far left where you'd been jogging. I wondered why you were doing that, but it didn't matter; there was still plenty of room for me. Then, as we passed, you reached out and punched my arm. You punched me! It hurt, and was also quite shocking. I turned around to look back at you and it appeared you were shaking your fist and yelling at me. I thought about stopping to ask you why you'd assaulted me like that, but I figured I was probably better off keeping my distance from a potential psychopath who randomly punches people.
Why did you punch me? You looked to be in your 30s or 40s; how did you make it this far in life thinking that punching people was a good way to communicate? I assume you were trying to suggest that I should not have tried to pass the jogger in front of me when you were jogging toward me on the other side of the path, but if so, and if you weren't the kind of person who would rather punch than talk, I would beg to differ. There was plenty of room—plenty!—for all three of us on that trail. If you really think you need at least a 5-foot distance from all other path-users at all times, may I suggest you find another path to jog? The path we met on is very popular, and it's especially crowded between about 5-7 p.m. as people commute home from work and/or get their evening exercise after work. Most of the trail's users appear to understand that we must cooperate to use the trail. It's called sharing—you should really try it. However, if you really need a trail to yourself, perhaps you could try jogging at midnight; I bet the trail is fairly empty at that hour.
Really, I don't care what you do, except, please don't punch me again. If you do, I'll have to stop and ask politely for your name and address. I'm sure it won't take more than a day or two for the summons to reach you and then you can see whether a judge thinks it's ok to punch people for no reason at all.
Thanks, and have swell day. Sincerely,
Your friendly bike commuter.
Posted July 1, 2004 07:08 AM | life generally
Jeez - what a jerk!
Posted by: scm at July 1, 2004 09:29 AM
Dude, come on - brawling with asshole joggers is much better sport than mere bike riding. You should've gone back and kicked his ass.
Posted by: Rex Momus at July 1, 2004 10:07 AM
Ugh, AmbImb, I am glad you are okay. I think it's a good thing you didn't stop and go after him: not really worth it since the guy is obviously unbalanced.
My husband has had two very similar experiences, except he is the runner, not the biker, running on a shared lane (and where my husband was in the right place for runners). One guy threw an egg at him, the other guy knocked him down with his bike (sideswiped him). Both times really shook him up but he wasn't hurt. Both riders took off, so there wasn't a confrontation. Though it was very unsatisfying at the time, in hindsight he recognizes that the riders were probably mentally deranged, and a confrontation could have been dangerous.
Sorry you had to run into one of the psychos out there and I'm glad you weren't hurt!
Posted by: transmogriflaw at July 1, 2004 10:54 AM
Holy crap - This is exactly why I don't exercise! It's dangerous to be the runner and/or the biker! The only thing I've ever been attacked by is a bird.
Posted by: E. McPan at July 1, 2004 11:14 AM
I got attacked by a golf ball once, which hit me in the head while I was biking (this may or may not be why I am this way), but I never got punched. That's crazy...glad you're OK!
Posted by: energy spatula at July 1, 2004 01:53 PM
Let's be careful out there!
I am regularly amazed at people. How can a person *possibly* justify such a thing as an actual unprovoked battery against another?
Jeez, you're not in DC are you? I mean, that guy may have been Ashcroft or Cheney.
Posted by: Denise at July 1, 2004 06:11 PM
Thanks everyone. I'm fine; the experience was more painful to my sense of justice (or something like that) than it was to my body.
Just for the record, I understand that walkers and joggers on multi-use recreation paths can feel intimidated by bikers. I've been in the walker/jogger position myself, and it can be downright frightening to be strolling along, enjoying a quiet afternoon, when suddenly you get buzzed by a biker flying by at what seems like a hundred miles an hour. I'm not sure what the solution to this is. It would be great if these paths could be 12-16 feet wide instead of 8-10 feet -- then people moving faster (on bikes or skates or jogging or whatever) could give more space to the people they pass. Unfortunately, that would mean more pavement, and who really wants more green space covered in asphalt?
It's a tough thing. So I do try to be conscientious, and to give as much room as possible when I pass, and to make sure the oncoming lane is clear, etc. This was simply a case where there was plenty of visibility for everyone -- it was on a long straight stretch of the path. I still don't understand why the guy felt it necessary to "communicate" with me like that, but oh well.
Posted by: ambimb at July 1, 2004 06:46 PM
Reading that made me want to hit you. Seriously. I felt a strong urge to beat the living crap out of you. Especially during that “I’d politely ask for his address and home phone number” thing, did I really want to hit you. In fact, due to your attempt at rationalizing the occurrence, I feel compelled to randomly hit snobbish idiot whiners. Also, were you wearing Speedo? That explains it! Maybe some good would come of whacking the wealthy, as they might lose the urge of being social and become like myself- depressed with a low self image. Then, some day, when I chose to become successful and strong minded; the fragile people, who can’t take the pain of some people’s everyday lives, mentally retreat; and I’ll be there to fill their size six loafers. For extra information, you should try sending your erectile disfuncted offspring to public schools. This way, they’ll be putting more baggage on you than your litagatory complex can house. Life doesn’t require the descript of a car accident, either.
Posted by: Clint at July 1, 2004 08:59 PM
Holy cow. After my day today, reading this makes me nervous.
Dude.
Will say one thing, though: if any cops pull me over, I'll be calling you. :-)
Posted by: Katherine at July 1, 2004 09:46 PM
So then, what *is* the frequency, Kenneth?
Posted by: DarkQualm at July 1, 2004 10:44 PM
Hey, yah know, it's not like you don't deserve a good beating every once in awhile Ambimb. But I mean geez! Why the suprise? You're in DC after all. It's not like that's some peace loving town. Dude probably was getting ready for another day at Justice. It's random violence that keeps us on our toes after all. Try not to think of him as some unknown and unnamed assailant but rather as a patriot doing his part to keep us all safe. There, now don't you feel better? Here, have a Bush/Cheney 2004 button... Hey look! It matches the bruise!
Posted by: Famous P. at July 1, 2004 10:52 PM
Thank you, sir. May I have another?
Posted by: ambimb at July 2, 2004 08:04 AM
Ouch Ambimb! People sure do suck. I tell ya, it's a strange and sometimes violent world nowadays. Kudos to you for not running him over with your bike.
Posted by: DG at July 2, 2004 08:05 AM
Egads. Glad you're ok, ambimb!
Posted by: raquel at July 2, 2004 09:49 AM
You need to go Ben-Hur on that guy - revolving blades off the wheel is a nice way to keep nutballs at arm's length.
Seriously - I'm glad you didn't go down.
Scop
Posted by: scoplaw at July 2, 2004 10:50 AM
Kudos to you for controlling yourself. It was probably the right thing to do. I might not have made the right decision.
Last summer before law school, I used to ride my bike to the coffeeshop where I worked. Several times over that summer, certain idiots made me realize that I have a weakness when it comes to rage on the bike path. I'm lucky I didn't stop the bike to try to beat on someone and end up getting shot.
You only got punched because the guy figured it was a low-risk way to get out his agression: the chances that you'd stop and beat him senseless were low.
Or, he could have been a nutcase with a knife.
Posted by: Carey at July 2, 2004 11:45 PM
I'm sure, actually, that you were being a courteous bike rider. The shared path my husband runs on is a similar setup -- it's really too narrow, so everybody has to share as best they can. Mostly, runners and bikers co-exist peacefully, but it can be a trigger for those who need a reason to flare up. My husband has seen runners freak out about totally appropriate bike behavior and vice versa.
Posted by: transmogriflaw at July 3, 2004 01:22 AM
