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February 28, 2004

That Marriage Bidness

The other day Democratic Congressman Jim McDermott (WA) made a short, 1-minute speech about the definition of marriage and the proposed amendment to the Constitution. Below is a slightly more extensive version of McDermott's remarks that arrived in my inbox, thanks to some crazy married kids (with kids!) currently lost in the cornfields of the midwest. McDermott said:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government." This is true.

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

So um, yeah. Marriage is sacred and very clearly defined. The Bible says so, and that's "a god-breathed book!" Come to think of it, we should just do everything just like the Bible says! Otherwise we'll go straight to hayell. That silly Constitution thinks it's so darned smart with its separation of church and state and all that nonsense. Well we'll show the Constitution who's boss. Why stop at amendments? Let's just throw the whole thing out and let the Bible tell us what to do! Paradise, here we come!

Posted 09:29 AM | Comments (7) | general politics

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