Fun with language

I may be going to law school this fall, but some part of me is still a writing teacher—specifically, a business writing teacher (at least some of the time)—and there's lots of good stuff going on these days in the wacky world of business writing. First, one of the "Big Three" accounting firms has declared war on just the kind of nonsense business-speak I spent the last four years trying to get my students to recognize, abhor, and never write again:

Deloitte Consulting admits it helped foster confusing, indecipherable words like "synergy," "paradigm" and "extensible repository," but it has decided enough is enough. It is releasing Bullfighter, a new software program to help business writers avoid jargon and use clear language.

Yay Bullfighter! Even the name is pretty straightforward. Be sure you don't miss Deloitte's own speil about its new program—you can even take it for a test drive or download it yourself (if you use Windows 2000 or XP). And best of all, send an ecard to all your friends who are full of bull!

Yeah, this is going to take the business world by storm. Not. But hey, at least now we know that some business people know they write nonsense, and as GI Joe always said, "Knowing is half the battle!"

For still more fun with corporate America using language as if they're just making it up (wait! they are!), check out this exchange between Coca-Cola and a former English teacher. And remember to treat yourself well. Ordinary. Drink Dasani bottled water. ;-)

Stuff like this almost makes me wish I was going to teach business writing again this fall. (Wait. Did I really write that? What I really meant was I think it's time for more Playstation....)

Posted 07:36 AM | Comments (1) | life generally

Law School Update

When I'm not playing "Enter the Matrix," watching movies, or surfing the web aimlessly (life is hard here, you know?), I'm thinking a bit about that law school thing I'm supposed to be doing this fall. GW wanted an $800 payment on Monday, so I headed downtown to deliver it in person, because I can. The trip taught me a few things about GW I hadn't fully realized. For one, because it's an urban campus, things sometimes seem cramped. Instead of the broad lawns and wide sidewalks that separate buildings at suburban and rural universities, GW is divided by busy city streets.

Second, while some students may see an advantage to attending a law school located right on an undergraduate campus, I wonder if it might be better if the law school were more self contained. I spent nearly two hours going from office to office before I found exactly where I was supposed to pay my money. Of course, that's a common experience for someone new to a university campus, but I wonder if things would be simpler if the law school was more self-contained. It turned out the office I needed to visit was within the law school building all along, so maybe it is self-contained and no one I talked to yesterday realized that. Anyway, the problem was complicated a little by the fact that the main law school building (Stockton Hall, I think) is currently closed for renovation and asbestos removal, so some offices are in temporary locations. Anyway, I finally found what I was looking for and paid my money. Now all I have to do is figure out that financial aid thing.

Financial aid. I've been putting it off. I don't want to do it. I don't know what I need to do, exactly. So instead I've been reading books. I started One L by Scott Turow and, while some of it is interesting and helpful, it's also pretty melodramatic. Last night I laughed out loud when Turow started a new section with, "Finally, during that second week, I began to volunteer in class." He then goes on for over six pages about the way he agonized over speaking in class and what everyone else thought about it and all the pros and cons and worries about competition and what other students would think of him and yadda yadda yadda. Come on! Talk or don't talk, but shut up about it, will you? Reading this book makes me realize that law school has to be one of the most overly-scrutinized academic endeavors a person can undertake. In what other academic discipline can you find dozens—if not hundreds—of books about preparing for school, taking tests, dealing with professors, or whether to speak up in class? I just left grad school in English and as far as I know there are less than a dozen books (and that's being generous) on these topics as they relate to English. What is it about law school that makes students such navel-gazers? If I had to guess I'd say it's that law is one of those mysterious professions everyone is aware of but knows little about. Like medicine, perhaps, the law just seems very difficult and complex and high stakes; therefore, people are interested in it, they think about it, and they write about it. However, I wonder if a lot of what is written about the law and law school is just self-perpetuating. Everyone watches "The Paper Chase" and reads One L before they go to law school, and both of these narratives are highly melodramatic and focus on the mysteries and difficulties of law school, therefore lots of students expect law school to be melodramatic and mysterious? I don't know. What I do know is that I don't want to participate in all that if I can avoid it. When/if I start writing melodramatically about law school, slap me, will you?

(Oops, is it too late, already?)

Besides, according to Brush with the Law, that whole debate about whether to speak up in class is a non-issue so long as you don't go to a zero-sum school with a bunch of zero-summers who think that everything good that happens to you must mean something bad is going to happen to them. (I've got to take time to write up my thoughts on that book. I'll do it, really. Soon.)

So instead of worrying about whether to speak up in class, here's some Flash fun for ya: Bushenstein, the story of Yubbledew's plan to remake the Supreme Court. [Link via SixFourteen, which didn't like it at all.] And in the related vein of "Why is our world upside down?" don't miss Tom Tomorrow's indictment of the Christian terrorists —careful! They're all around us!

Posted 11:08 AM | Comments (2) | law school

Dandy Dando

One of the great things L. and I have been looking forward to about moving to a city is the chance to see more live music. Last Friday night we checked out one of the top picks recommended by the Washington City Paper—Evan Dando at the Black Cat. Back in the day I was a fan of Dando's old band, The Lemonheads, so I knew the show had potential, but I was skeptical; when lead singers go solo sometimes they change things up so radically that they're hardly recognizable. I'm glad to report that's not really true of Dando. He played some great new music from his album, "Baby I'm Bored," and jammed out on some old Lemonheads tunes to please the old fanbase.

Dando hit the stage alone with his acoustic guitar at about 12:15 to play five or six solo acoustic tunes, including notably "Favorite T" from Come On Feel. Dando's voice seemed older (it is) and rougher, like he's smoked a few too many cigarettes, perhaps, or is just out of practice. His range seemed smaller and his voice sometimes cracked on transitions between notes. His acoustic guitar was also jerky and at times it sounded and looked like he was working really hard to find the right chords and transitions. But hey, I don't play, so what do I know?

After the short acoustic set, Dando was joined on stage by a three-piece band featuring none other than Juliana Hatfield on base. Hatfield played and sang with the Lemonheads on several albums—not to mention putting out a lot of great music in her own right—so in a lot of ways, it was like seeing the Lemonheads reborn. The band performed some of the major Lemnheads hits, including: It's A Shame About Ray, Drug Buddy, Big Gay Heart, and Rudderless. Highlights for me were a super rockin' doublespeed version of Down About It and a slightly slowed but still energetic version of Confetti, one of my favorite songs that features exactly the kind of almost-too-cute-yet-nonetheless-poignant lyrics that always made the Lemonheads great: "Well he kinda shoulda sorta woulda loved her if he coulda, the story's getting closer to the end. He kinda shoulda sorta woulda loved her if he coulda, but he'd rather be alone than pretend."

In all, it was a great show. If Dando comes your way, and if you were ever a Lemonheads fan, don't miss it.

Posted 09:09 AM | life generally