The line at the D.C office of the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) stretches down the hallway on a Friday morning. After standing in this line for over an hour only to be turned away at the info desk, I've got a few suggestions for the DC DMV. They probably all fall under the same main suggestion, which is: Get a freaking clue and stop being so stupid!!!

So here's the deal: If you move w/in D.C. but you need to park your car on the street, you'll need to get a parking permit for the parking "zone" you've moved to. No big deal, right? You just tell them you've moved and they issue you a new permit in place of your old one, right? Wrong. In order to get a new permit you have to a valid DC registration with your current address, which means you have to get a new registration ($72). In order to get a new registration you have to have a driver's license with your current address, which means you have to get a new driver's license ($39)! In order to get a driver's license you must have a gazillion forms of ID and proof of current residency. That last one was the kicker for us: As proof of residency, the DMV only accepts a utility bill sent to your current address, an original lease or rental agreement, or a notarized written statement from the landlord saying you live where you claim to live. Our problem: We don't pay utilities here, so we have no utility statements; all we have is a photocopy of our lease and our landlord is out of town until next week (or the next or next — it's unclear). Stupid us, we thought our photocopied lease would work, even though it says online that it won't work—admittedly our bad; we just couldn't believe they would be so senselessly rigid about this. So we waited in line for an hour only to be laughed at by the mostly nice but slightly surly info desk attendant. We had mail addressed to us at our new address (but no utility bills), official change of address confirmations from the U.S. Post Office, and a photocopy of our lease, but none of that was good enough to prove we actually live where we say we live.

So, my tip for the DMV: Simplify your freaking processes! It's ridiculous that we moved six blocks and now must go through such a torturous process just to switch our parking permit from one zone to another. It's really no wonder the District's population is shrinking—the local government (at least the DMV) seems to be doing its level best to make all the current residents so mad they can't wait to leave.